Australians will debate almost anything.
How much Vegemite is too much?
Pineapple on pizza?
But ask somebody how often they masturbate and suddenly they're studying the ceiling.
Which is odd, because masturbation is extraordinarily common.
The better question isn't really “Do normal people masturbate?” It's:
“How much is too much?”
Once a week?
Every day?
Enough that your Apple Watch congratulates you on closing your exercise ring?
Thankfully, Australian health authorities have a fairly sensible answer.
There is no magic number
Victoria's Better Health Channel says masturbation frequency varies enormously: some people masturbate several times a day, others weekly or monthly, and others don't masturbate at all.
Frequency generally becomes concerning when it begins interfering with ordinary life—work, school, relationships or social activities.
Which means:
“How many times?” is usually the wrong question.
A better one is:
“Is it causing problems?”
If you masturbate frequently, enjoy yourself, aren't hurting yourself and nobody from HR is requesting a confidential meeting, the number alone doesn't make you unhealthy.
How often are Australians doing it?
Our best detailed national figures come from the Second Australian Study of Health and Relationships, involving more than 20,000 Australians aged 16–69.
It found 72% of men and 42% of women had masturbated during the previous year.
During the previous four weeks, 51% of men and 24% of women had masturbated.
So yes: according to the national research, Australian men were considerably more likely than women to report masturbating.
But averages describe populations.
They don't prescribe your Tuesday night.
Australia's newer third national sexual-health study surveyed 12,833 people during 2023–24; detailed findings are continuing to emerge, so the earlier study remains the main published national benchmark for these specific masturbation comparisons.
Why the big difference between men and women?
Biology may contribute, but culture matters too.
We've spent generations portraying male masturbation as practically compulsory while treating female masturbation as something women presumably discovered accidentally when reaching for the shampoo.
Better Health Channel notes that embarrassment about masturbation can come from outdated social, cultural and religious attitudes.
So survey differences don't necessarily mean women have less capacity or desire for self-pleasure.
They may also reflect different sexual scripts, comfort levels and willingness to report it.
Does age change things?
Yes.
In Australian data, masturbation generally becomes less common among men as age increases.
For women, the pattern is less linear, with substantial rates continuing through the 20s, 30s and 40s before declining later.
That's hardly surprising.
Hormones change.
Libido changes.
Health changes.
Relationships change.
Privacy changes.
And by 50 you may simply have discovered that uninterrupted sleep is itself an erotic fantasy.
The important point is that masturbation doesn't automatically expire with youth.
There is no age at which your genitals receive a letter from Canberra announcing the program has been discontinued.
Religion makes a difference too
The Australian national study found people reporting no religion were more likely to report masturbation than those identifying with a religion.
Among people living with a regular partner, masturbation was also less common than among those without one—but certainly didn't disappear. The study found 88.8% of men without a regular partner had masturbated in the previous year compared with 66.7% of men living with a regular partner; for women the figures were 45.4% and 39%.
That brings us to an enduring myth:
“If my partner masturbates, I must not be satisfying them.”
Not necessarily.
The Australian researchers concluded that solo sexual activities can act as both substitutes for partnered sex and additional sources of pleasure among people who already have partners.
Sometimes you want dinner with somebody.
Sometimes you want takeaway in your pyjamas.
Neither is an official complaint about the restaurant.
Religion deserves another important qualification.
Clinical guidance around compulsive sexual behaviour specifically warns against diagnosing a problem simply because someone has strong sexual desire or experiences guilt arising from moral or religious disapproval.
Feeling ashamed about masturbating doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it too much.
Sometimes it means someone once convinced you that you should be ashamed.
Hand or hardware?
Australian national research found that sex toys were actually reported more often by women than men: approximately 21% of women and 15% of men had used one during the previous year.
That doesn't tell us that every use occurred during solo masturbation, but it does show toys are far from niche.
Commercial research gives us a little more insight into how people masturbate.
A Lovehoney survey involving more than 4,000 people in Australia and Britain found 86% of male respondents usually relied on their hand, while around half of female respondents incorporated a sex toy into their usual masturbation routine.
So the traditional hand remains undefeated in the men's division.
Among women, however, apparently batteries have mounted a serious title challenge.
Neither method is “better”.
Hands are free, reliable and rarely require USB-C.
Toys can provide sensations fingers simply can't reproduce and can make orgasm easier for some people.
Use what works.
Cinema's greatest argument for planning ahead
No discussion of masturbation and embarrassment is complete without There's Something About Mary.
Poor Ted, played by Ben Stiller, has one of cinema's worst-ever pre-date bathroom experiences when he catches himself catastrophically in his trouser zipper on prom night. Mary's unfortunate view through the window leads her to initially think he's doing something rather more recreational in the bathroom.
Years later, the movie returns to masturbation with considerably greater commitment.
Before another date with Mary, Ted is advised that masturbating beforehand will clear his head.
The strategy itself might have remained private were it not for one tiny logistical problem:
He loses track of the evidence.
Mary, played by Cameron Diaz, mistakes the substance on his ear for hair gel.
And cinema history receives perhaps its most famous vertical fringe.
Director Bobby Farrelly later recalled that the filmmakers repeatedly wondered whether they'd finally gone too far—masturbation, ear, hair standing upright—only to discover audiences loved the scene.
The health message?
Masturbation is normal.
But before opening the bathroom door, perhaps conduct a quick inventory.
So when IS masturbation too much?
This is the genuinely important part.
High frequency alone is not the same thing as compulsive sexual behaviour.
The World Health Organization's diagnostic framework focuses on loss of control and meaningful harm: repeatedly neglecting responsibilities, being unable to cut back despite trying, continuing despite serious consequences, or allowing sexual behaviour to dominate life.
Warning signs might include masturbation:
- repeatedly interfering with work or relationships;
- causing physical soreness or injury;
- occupying so much time that other important activities disappear;
- feeling persistently beyond your control;
- continuing despite significant negative consequences.
Three orgasms during a lazy Sunday?
Not automatically a problem.
Missing your sister's wedding because you've barricaded yourself in the bedroom with a charger and four litres of lubricant?
We may need to revisit priorities.
Masturbation can actually be good for you
For most people, masturbation is a healthy form of sexual expression.
Better Health Channel says it can help people understand their sexual responses, discover what feels pleasurable and communicate preferences more effectively with partners. It can also promote relaxation and stress relief.
And those old warnings?
Blindness?
Infertility?
Reduced sexual functioning?
Hairy palms?
No.
You have been lied to by generations of terrified adults.
Masturbation is also one of the safest ways of experiencing sexual pleasure because solo masturbation carries no pregnancy risk and essentially no STI risk unless bodily fluids or shared toys enter the equation.
The comedians have known this for years
Woody Allen's character Alvy delivered one of cinema's most famous lines in Annie Hall:
“Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.”
Chelsea Handler has been even less subtle, once telling an audience:
“I was a demon masturbator.”
And comedian Tiffany Haddish recently gave masturbation perhaps its nicest rebrand while making the hosts of Today squirm:
“It's called self love.”
She may have a point.
The happy ending
There is no government-approved masturbation allowance.
Nobody from Medicare is monitoring your weekly output.
You aren't automatically unhealthy because you masturbate every day, and you aren't sexually deficient because you rarely—or never—do it.
For most adults, masturbation is simply another ordinary part of sexuality: pleasurable, private, useful for learning about your body and remarkably free of the complications associated with finding another available human.
The healthiest amount isn't once a week, five times a week or whatever number someone on TikTok announced while selling supplements.
It's the amount that works for you without injuring you, disrupting your life or feeling beyond your control.
No shame required.
Just perhaps check your ear before meeting Cameron Diaz.
